Overcoming Adversity: My Journey of Healing from Physical and Mental Injuries-Part 1

"Mental pain is less dramatic than physical pain, but it is more common and also more hard to bear. The frequent attempt to conceal mental pain increases the burden: it is easier to say “My tooth is aching” than to say “My heart is broken"-C.S. Lewis

Introduction:

Life is full of unexpected challenges, and for those who have served in the military, the physical and mental toll can be particularly daunting. Throughout my time in service, I faced numerous injuries, including a torn shoulder, severe hernia, fractured cervical spine with nerve damage, and a broken foot. Each setback threatened to derail my career. With each setback I encountered due to my injuries, I found myself asking the same question: "Why me? Why the fu#k now?" The frustration and confusion grew with each occurrence! I struggled to understand why the universe, God, or whoever or whatever was seemingly placing me in these painful and challenging situations, but my determination and resilience pushed me to overcome these obstacles. In this blog post, I will share my journey of healing from these physical and mental injuries, highlighting the lessons I learned along the way.

Pushing Through Physical Pain

One of the most significant injuries I encountered was during Special Operations Aviation Medicine Indoctrination Course with 160th SOAR (Special Operations Aviation Regiment). They only let four people into each class four times a year, I had a unique opportunity to attend and I could not bring myself to quit! During my third week of a three-month-long course, I was fast roping. I vividly recall flying around and shouting "ropes, ropes, ropes" as the crew kicked the ropes off the ramp of the chinook. As the second person in line, I confidently grabbed the rope and exited the helicopter, feeling like a total badass. However, halfway down the rope, I experienced the physical sensation of my labrum tearing like a perferated edge. In the last five feet of the descent, I lost my grip and fell to the ground, losing all sense of badassery and succumbing to pain throughout my body.

Despite tearing my shoulder early on in the course, I refused to let it end my aspirations. The physical pain was excruciating, making even simple tasks challenging. However, I knew that giving up was not an option. Much of my mental toughness was ingrained in me during the early days of my army career. Basic training, airborne school, and air assault school all played significant roles in this process, subjecting me to different levels of physical and mental pain. Through these experiences, I was gradually conditioned to endure and withstand increasingly challenging circumstances. I relied on my mental strength and determination to push through the pain and complete the course. This experience taught me the importance of resilience and perseverance in the face of physical adversity. It showed me that as long as my mental strength and focus on my goals were stronger than the physical pain, I could achieve anything.

Silent Battles: Mental Health and Deployment

While physical injuries are visible, the invisible wounds of war or experiences can be just as debilitating. Deployments to Afghanistan and the loss of many friends in accidents took a toll on my mental health, leading to PTSD, depression, and anxiety. At first, I tried to suppress these issues, believing that seeking help would be a sign of weakness. However, as time went on, the weight of my struggles became unbearable. I wasn't myself, and my family was bearing the true weight of these effects. It was a turning point when I realized that ignoring my mental health was one of the most detrimental things I could do. With the support of my wife, I mustered the courage to seek assistance. Through therapy and counseling, I learned effective coping mechanisms and strategies to manage my mental health. This experience highlighted the importance of prioritizing mental well-being and seeking help when needed.

The Importance of Seeking Help

While stationed at the White House, I continued to grapple with physical and mental pain. I kept hiding and denying the injuries I was facing. Why would I have to face them? I was working at the White House, traveling the world, and in the best shape of my life, things were fine! But one day, while running, my right foot suddenly broke. The pain was excruciating, and I spent a week limping, noticing significant swelling. Eventually, I realized I had to get it checked out. To my disbelief, I was diagnosed with a degenerative bone disorder called Mueller-Wise, along with several other concerns related to blood flow in my foot. It was a devastating revelation, and I now needed surgery. I couldn't believe that this was happening to me.

Despite the incredible opportunity, I had to confront my mental health, deteriorating foot condition and the progression of my neck injury that I had been suppressing for so long. After a long battle and denial, it became clear to the Army and me that it was time to retire from the military. This decision was not easy, as it meant letting go of the career I had dedicated so much to. One that I worked so hard for! However, it also taught me the importance of seeking help and prioritizing self-care. I realized that ignoring physical and mental health issues only exacerbates the situation and was slowing down that 'badass' I had been for so long. By acknowledging our limitations and seeking assistance, we can heal, grow, and continue to make meaningful contributions in our lives.

"Notice the boot on the right foot!"

Lessons of Resilience and Perseverance

My journey of healing taught me invaluable lessons about resilience and perseverance. It showed me the power of having a strong "why" and a sense of purpose that propels us forward, even in the face of adversity. I learned to listen to my body and prioritize self-care, understanding that healing and recovery takes time. It also taught me the importance of seeking help, whether it be from medical professionals, therapists, or support networks. By acknowledging our vulnerabilities and reaching out for assistance, we can navigate the healing journey with greater strength and resilience.

Conclusion:

Overcoming physical and mental injuries requires immense strength, determination, and a willingness to seek help. My journey through the military taught me the importance of resilience, perseverance, and self-care. By sharing my experiences, I hope to inspire others to confront their own challenges head-on, seek support when needed, and embrace the healing journey. Remember, we are capable of overcoming adversity and finding strength in the face of hardship. By prioritizing our physical and mental well-being, we can continue to grow, thrive, and make a positive impact in our lives and the lives of others.

If you find yourself asking "why me?!, why now?!" Recently, after hearing a reference to the same thoughts, the answer is simple:

'Why not me? I'm built for this shit!'

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